Am I The Extremist?

It quickly becomes apparent to anyone who spends very much time talking to people with extreme views, either on the right, or on the left, that it is an almost universal truth that they do not recognize extremism in themselves.  Though these persons who you encounter may live inside a bubble where they encounter only self-reinforcing biases, they often view themselves as well read.  Though they might be incredibly unfair to one side of the political aisle or the other, they usually view themselves as intellectually honest.  Though they are often filled with dislike for the other political ideology, they frequently consider themselves to be tolerant.

Extremism doesn’t recognize itself

This is a truth, which all of us must recognize and account for.  We must be willing to look ourselves in the eyes (metaphorically of course) and honestly ask “Am I the extremist?”

It is easy to read the materials on this and other websites, and to watch videos about various topics relating to being intellectually honest, fair, thoughtful, tolerant, and empathetic, and think “Yes!  This is exactly what everyone else needs to hear!”  While completely missing the fact that it is also exactly what we need to hear.  Perhaps we need it most of all!

You may consider yourself tolerant, but are you really?  Do you truly respect the views of others.  Or do you justify your own intolerance by claiming that the other person was intolerant towards you first.  A common way of justifying intolerance is to say something like “I am only being intolerant of intolerance.”  Which is just an easy excuse for showing intolerance towards others, without having to feel guilty about it.  Do you value everyone!  Yes, even those you disagree with!  Yes, even those who annoy you.  Even those who you think have backwards ideas.  Or, do you justify your intolerance, so that you can claim to be a tolerant person, and not face the reality that you are behaving in an extremist manner.

You may consider yourself fair, but are you really?  Do you apply the same standards to everyone?  When someone you don’t like does something good, do you give them credit?  When someone you do like does something bad do you hold them to the same standard?  Or, are you eager to judge people you don’t like as bad people, and eager to forgive people you do like as just having made an honest mistake.  People who are fair judge all others by the same standards.  Regardless of whether or not they like them or belong to the same political ideology.

You may consider yourself well read, but are you really?  Do you read and consume media from all sides of the aisle?  Or do you insulate yourself within only those that share your own views?  The reality is that all media today has a strong bias.  There really is no such thing as a news source that is in the middle.  Thus, you must expose yourself to coverage both from those that lean left, as well as those that lean right, if you are truly going to claim to be well read.

We could propose the same question with empathy, kindness, intellectual honesty, and so forth.  You may consider yourself to have these traits.  But, do you really?  Or, are you an extremist?

Extremists Recognize Other Extremists

It is always interesting to observe how readily extremists who seem oblivious to their own extremism can still recognize the extremism of others from the opposite political ideology.  Those on the far left view themselves as centrists, but can spot someone on the far right without any trouble.  Likewise, those on the far right view themselves as centrists, but can spot someone on the far left without difficulty.  They are appalled by the extreme behaviors of these persons, all the while completely blinded to their own equally extreme behaviors that they themselves are exhibiting.

Why is that?  Why is it so hard for us to recognize when it is us who are the extremists?  Undoubtedly, it has to do with our ego and pride.  As well as our conviction that our political ideology is right, and the other side is wrong.  Undoubtedly, it has to do with the deep seated need that all of us have to be validated and to make a difference in the world.  All of us seem to have an innate need to be remembered by history, and to feel like our lives mattered.  Undoubtedly, it has to do with how we define good and evil.  Whatever the reasons, an inability to recognize our own extremism leads us to become unhinged.  Especially if it is left unchecked.

Extremists Tend To Spiral

An extremist doesn’t tend to stand still.  Instead their perceptions of reality grow increasingly dark.  What begins as just a small degree of intolerance compounds into tremendous hatred.  What begins with just a little bit of isolation develops into total withdrawal from anyone who has differing opinions.  The pattern is very predictable and you can see it happen in people very quickly.  They become obsessed, angry, intolerant, hateful, and convinced that the other side is evil.

How Can You Identify Extremism In Yourself?

With extremism being so difficult to recognize in ourselves, how can we be expected to detect it?  How can we know if we are the ones who are sliding further and further out on a limb, away from the safety of being a uniter?

Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do you view the other political ideology as evil, racist, or otherwise made up of horrible people?
• Do you regularly associate with people from the other political ideology?
• Do you have meaningful discussions with people from the other political ideology?
• Do you believe that the other political ideology has value, and can teach you something?
• Do you think the leaders of your political ideology are mostly good, while the leaders of the other political ideology are mostly bad?
• Do you consume media from all sides of the aisle (Fox News, New York Times, and everything in between)
• Do you view your political ideology as mostly safe, while viewing the other side as mostly dangerous?
• Do you believe that people from the other political ideology are stupid or ill-informed?

Look at yourself, again metaphorically in the eyes.  Be honest with yourself.  Are you the extremist?  If you look honestly, and you find that you are, then you are well on your way to fixing this problem.  If you find that you do think people from the other political ideology are stupid, evil, dangerous, etc, then you can work to fix this by getting out and interacting with them.  Get to know them, and to learn about how good these people really are.  As you make friends with them, you will come to realize that they share many of the same values you do, and that they are trustworthy, honest, and kind.

If you don’t consume media from all sides of the aisle, then the good news is that you are not stuck with this habit.  You can begin today to make yourself more well read.

Recognizing your own extremism is a wonderful gift, because it means you can begin to fix who you are!

If you will have the courage to look inward, then you can begin to grow into a person who doesn’t just claim to be tolerant, but who really is tolerant.  You can grow into a person who doesn’t just claim to be fair, but who really is fair.  You can blossom and become the person you already think you are.  A truly good, kind, and empathetic person.

Then, you will be in a position to truly appreciate the goodness of those around you.  Which will lead to peace, and joy.