Whether you call it grace, or the benefit of the doubt, the idea is the same. A basic appreciation and recognition extended to others, because you believe their sincerity. They may disagree with you, and you may disagree with them. Perhaps you view the world very differently. However, you can acknowledge that they are a good person, with sincerity of purpose. Extending this grace to others can literally change the world!
Grace doesn’t mean that you have to agree with their conclusions. It doesn’t mean that you have to ignore your own instincts for solving the problem in a different way. It doesn’t mean that you have to accept the other individual’s premises, and put your own well-founded thoughts on the back burner. Your instincts, experiences, and creativity are invaluable. It would be a tremendous loss to hide those, just to get along. That is not what extending grace is about!
Bring what you have to the table, and be ready to be apart of the problem solving process. Be prepared to offer your insights and to contribute. But extend grace. This means listening to the other person, because you value their sincerity. It means validating who the other person is, and recognizing that their ideas have genuine merit. It means acknowledging to yourself (not just out-loud to others) but inwardly to your own heart the reality that the person who you are working with also has the same good intentions that you know you do.
They are not evil. They are not stupid. They are not ill-informed. They are not motivated by the wrong reasons. They are good and sincere people.
You see, once you enter a discussion from that perspective, the rest becomes so much easier. You can then begin the honest process of seeking consensus. A consensus is a group decision that is made only after everyone has been heard. While it is not always possible to account for everyone’s concerns in a consensus, it is possible to take note of these concerns, and to honestly discuss them.
If someone feels listened to, they are much more likely to go along with a group consensus then they would be if you yelled at them, or accused them of being evil. The goal of consensus building is to solve problems in as pragmatic a way as possible. Thus, all individuals must be prepared to contribute, and then step back and accept the group decision. Even when it doesn’t account for all of our own ideals or desires.
Grace is one of the most powerful keys to unlocking the door to peaceful group problem solving. It validates the inherent goodness that exists in all of us. When we feel validated we are so much more willing to compromise.
Real grace, fully internalized, also helps us to trust others. When we trust those who we are working with, then it becomes much easier to see the validity of the points that they are making.
Even when others are not extending grace towards us. We can and must still extend grace to them. We can be the difference in any room, group, or discussion that we engage in. When others feel our sincerity it will become contagious.
You can be the difference in any group, by extending sincere grace towards others.
