Creating A Framework For Social Media Interactions

There are many reasons that we get drawn into online debates.  Most of them though usually come down to us trying to correct the stupidity of others.  Or at least of what we perceive to be the stupidity of others.  Granted, the other person sees us as stupid too… but that is beside the point since we know that we are right and that they are wrong.

How Many Times Has The Other Person Ever Admitted That You Were Right?

If our goal is to correct the ill-conceived beliefs of every single person we ever encounter, then ask yourself this important question.  Do any of the people you attempt to correct ever actually change their minds?  Or do they just walk away from your interaction thinking you are a jerk?  Seriously!  Has anyone EVER admitted that you were right, or do you both just eventually give up (after 78 replies) from exhaustion?

“Post your sources for that claim!”  
“I posted my sources already!  You just refuse to accept them!  You rushed through my last reply and missed half my points!”
“I don’t appreciate your ad hominem attack!”
“blah, blah, blah…”

Let’s be honest, if your goal is to convince the other person that you are right, debate is probably about the worst way to go about it.

Is Your Goal To Convince The Lurkers?

This one may actually have merit.  Most debates that occur online draw a handful of lurkers, who read but don’t comment on the back and forth.  These individuals typically have a side they are rooting for, but are often much more open to hearing your arguments because they are not emotionally attached to the ego driven need to win the debate.

However, how likely are these people to take your side, if you are rude?  How likely are they to be convinced your arguments have merit if you intentionally try to humiliate your opponent? There is a very fine line between making reasonable arguments and turning into an aggressive jerk.  That line can usually be detected by paying attention to when you start to feel contentious.

Contention is a pretty dependable alarm bell, that warns you that you are starting to take winning more seriously then learning.  

Is Your Purpose To Learn?

There are very few tools more powerful or effective than debate, when it comes to testing the validity of ideas.  Especially when the method being used to validate an idea is logic.  Debate forces you to examine your positions and defend them against another equally or perhaps more intelligent person, who works to tear your ideas apart.  Those who are capable of engaging in this kind of mental gymnastics without getting contentious have a wonderful gift!  These are people who don’t mind losing a debate, because by losing the debate they actually win.  That winning being in the form of being able to discard bad ideas and replace them with more sound ones.  If you are in this category, and if you are debating someone else who also moves in this category then you can move your understanding of a topic forward very quickly.

Thriving here requires a total lack of contention, and a complete willingness to abandon poorly supported ideas when better ideas are discovered.  

What Is Your Purpose For Debating Online

Alright peeps!  It is time for you to decide for yourself.  Are you a debater or a lurker?  If you are going to debate, are you doing it to correct the stupidity of others, to help those who lurk learn something you know, or to help yourself learn from what others know?  If it is either or both of the second two, then how do your attitudes affect your success?