Developing Empathy For Others

Scenario # 1

Leona has always struggled with an intense fear of clowns.  They cause her tremendous anxiety, and whenever she sees one, she inevitably has nightmares.  The circus is in town, and Leona’s daughter Sammy really wants to go.  With great trepidation Leona takes her daughter to the circus so that she can have a magical experience and make wonderful memories.  Proud of her accomplishment, Leona later posts online about her triumph over her own fears.

David, who collects clowns makes fun of her.  Mocking how silly her accomplishment is.  David tells Leona that going to the circus isn’t anything to be proud of, and that she shouldn’t be bragging about something so dumb.

Is David in the wrong?  Why, or why not?

Remember that empathy is about seeing things from the perspective of others.  It is about celebrating their accomplishments using their measuring stick.  Something that is easy for David to accomplish is not necessarily easy for Leona.  To feel and show empathy, David needs to try to look through Leona’s eyes.  So that he can appreciate how difficult it was for her to take her daughter to the circus.  This would then allow him to sincerely and genuinely celebrate her achievement.

Remember that it isn’t about how hard or easy something is for you.  You have to set your own measuring tape aside.  It is about how hard or easy it is for them!