Developing Empathy For Others

Scenario # 3

Martin recently came across a scientific study that showed a correlation between drinking a glass of wine each evening and having reduced heart disease.  Loving his wife, and wanting her to live a long life, he decides to encourage her to drink wine.  Martin’s wife Cindy is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Commonly called the Mormon Church.  The leaders of her faith teach that she should not consume alcoholic beverages.  Cindy is far less concerned with the findings of a scientific study than she is with the teachings of the leaders of her church.  Which causes friction within their marriage, and has led to more than a few arguments.

How can Martin and Cindy show more empathy towards each other?

Martin and Cindy fall on opposite sides of the religious vs scientific spectrum for seeking knowledge.  The difference in how they seek out “truth” results in misunderstandings and an inability to see the other person’s perspective.  Both individuals can improve their capacity for empathy by improving their own capacity for seeking knowledge.  In the case of Cindy, she can learn to appreciate and value scientific research more.  This doesn’t mean that she has to subject her religious views beneath those of science.  Just that she learns to appreciate the science itself.  In the case In the case of Martin, he can learn to appreciate and value the wisdom of religious teachings more.  This doesn’t mean that he has to believe these teachings, or subject his will to them.  Only that he open his mind to understanding and appreciating the teachings.  As both Martin and Cindy work to improve their ability to see things more openly, they will come to respect the others’ position more fully.

Note that this doesn’t mean that Cindy had to compromise her beliefs and drink alcohol, nor does it mean that Martin has to compromise his beliefs and stop drinking alcohol.  The goal is simply to appreciate the perspective of the other person more fully, and respect where they are coming from. 

When we look to different sources to define the meaning of “truth” we create division.  This can be overcome by strengthening our value of both sources of truth, and learning to see the wisdom that both offer.