Developing Empathy For Others

Scenario # 4

A local community is facing a shortage of beds in their homeless shelter.  A recent economic downturn has resulted in an increase in the number of people who need a place to sleep.  This includes not just men, but also a number of women and children.

Sarah, a local community organizer is publicly advocating for the construction of a new homeless facility.  She argues that the new facility that she is proposing could be designed to not only house the homeless but to also educate them, provide them with training, counseling, and desperately needed help.  The model she has developed could become the envy of the State, and show other communities how to help their homeless population.

Dan sits on the community council, and directly oversees the community budget.  The city barley has enough money to cover pothole repairs, and is facing a shortage of both police and teachers.  Dan can’t find enough money to repaint the equipment at the local park, let alone build a new homeless facility.  Especially one of the nature that Sarah is advocating for.  The two find themselves growing increasingly impatient with each other.  Sarah just cannot understand how Dan can sleep at night when all he cares about are nickles and dimes.  Dan cannot understand why it is that Sarah is unable to comprehend the reality that the city doesn’t have the money to build her project.

How can Sarah and Dan show more empathy towards each other?  How could this empathy lead to a better overall solution?

Sarah and Dan chaperone their knowledge differently.  Sarah chaperones her knowledge using compassion, while Dan chaperones his with logic.  The result is that the two of them look at the same problems from very different perspectives.  For Sarah, the costs are irrelevant.  What matters is doing the right thing to help those in need.  To Dan, all he can see is the impossibility of replacing the light bulbs in the streetlamps, let alone building some new facility for the homeless.

Both individuals can show increased empathy by working to increase their own weaknesses in terms of the other side.  Sarah can strive to view the problem more logically, while Dan can strive to see it more compassionately.  A more compassionate stance from Dan might make him more willing to look for new and creative ways to find funding.  A more logical stance from Sarah might help her to be more pragmatic in lowering her expectations to levels that are more feasible.  By showing an increased capacity for both logic and compassion, both sides can work their way towards a pragmatic solution, somewhere in the middle.

Our tendency to chaperone our knowledge differently leads to division.  When we are willing to strengthen our weaknesses, we become more pragmatic as problem solvers.