Developing Intellectual Honesty

Scenario # 6

Donovan doesn’t feel comfortable around Steve and Larry.  They are always talking about the politics of the other political party (that Donovan doesn’t belong to).  Donovan believes that they do it intentionally, because they know he is a member of the other party, and they are trying to intentionally irritate him.  Rather than speak to them directly about it, Donovan files a complaint with the HR department.

Steve and Larry are brought into a meeting with the HR department where they are informed that someone has filed a complaint against them for harassment.  Steve and Larry are confused and genuinely unaware that they had been bothering anyone.  When they ask who filed the complaint the HR Director tells them that they cannot reveal this as it was filed confidentially.   The Director tells them not to harass their coworkers.

Steve and Larry try to be careful in how they interact with others, so that they cannot be perceived has harassing anyone.  However, they continue to talk about politics, since it is a topic they both enjoy.  Causing Donovan to grow increasingly angry and to become convinced that they are now seeking retaliation against him for having turned them in.

Which of the following conclusions might an intellectually honest person draw, and why?

1. Steve and Larry are jerks!  They need to stop picking on Donovan!  He just wants to work in peace, and not deal with people who single him out or bully him.

3.  Donovan has created a narrative in his own mind that simply isn’t true.  He is now holding Steve and Larry accountable for things that they are not guilty of.  If the topic of their conversations bother him, then he should explain this to them directly, so that they can be more aware of how their conversations make Donovan feel.  

Remember that our goal is to face reality as it really exists, and not to lie to ourselves in order to spare our own feelings.  Yes, it is unfortunate that Anita doesn’t have a lot of money, and it was good for Maria to help her out.  However, it isn’t Maria’s fault that Anita is in the situation that she is in, and Maria has her own financial obligations.   It would be wrong for Anita to borrow money and not pay it back.  It intellectually dishonest of her to blame Maria, and to pretend that she (Anita) is the victim.  Thus, number 2 would be intellectually honest positions to take.

Our goal must be to judge all situations by the same standards, even when this means admitting that we made mistakes!